One of the challenges when you are married is about dealing with relatives. Here in Indonesia there is a notion, which says that when you marry someone you are practically marrying the whole family. I’m not quite sure whether this also happens in other cultures, but I guess there are similarities.

This notion turns into a challenge is when there are relatives who consistently come to you and asking for financial help. This challenge can become such a hassle if our spouse cannot say no and continues to give them assistance, even behind our backs.

I’m not married yet, but I see this situation happens all the time. My question is, how do we suppose to act?

As a human being I relatively have no problem helping relatives who need financial help, but not continuously. If their situation is caused by things that happen beyond their control, I usually have no hesitation to lend a hand. Particularly to those who become domestic ‘victims’, such as wife/children who are abandoned by  the father, domestic violence, divorce, etc.

However, it is annoying to meet a relative who is persistently asking for money because of his/her own doing. For example, a relative who is having money problem because he/she is unable to manage his/her spending, or a relative who is wasting his/her life away when he/she was young and now becomes a burden, not only to his/her immediate family, but also to other relatives.

A part of me said I should help nonetheless. This is because in Islam, a Muslim should help relatives in need. In addition to that, helping others may open a way for God to help me in difficult times.

The other part of me said that I should put a limit and be strong about it. This part said that I shouldn’t deny my dislike and pretend to be patience.

Honestly I’m still looking for an answer that can cater both sides, because when you’re married you also need to consider your spouse as this situation may put your spouse in an awkward position.

What I have in mind now is that I should help but I have to set a limit of how much I should offer. Additionally, I need to be straight forward to those relatives and be ready for negative comments that come from them. I also need to be ready for the image that those relatives may have about me. Still, what more important, in my opinion, is to reach a common agreement with your spouse in dealing with the situation.

How about you? What would you do in this situation?

Popularity: 37% [?]

Artikel Lainnya:

1. Cat Alert!!! Miaww…!!! I stumbled upon Unspon’s post, Bitchfight on? Unspun only wrote one sentence saying that a bitchfight is taking shape. Curious,...
2. The Temptation of Daun Muda Daun Muda? No, it’s not about leaves or any other botanical matter. It’s about what Indonesian people call to a...
3. Can I have True Love? Can You? Recently, I’ve been hearing about what is true love. There is one notion that grabbed my attention from the talk...
4. Saving Money Via Online Shopping With the current financial crisis sweeping the whole world, people think that now is the best time to safe money....
5. 10 Reasons Why I Should Get Married Udah pengen Udah pengen Udah pengen Bosen hidup sendiri Bosen makan sendirian Bosen pulang ke rumah cuma ketemu bantal...