Daun Muda? No, it’s not about leaves or any other botanical matter. It’s about what Indonesian people call to a younger person who is “dateable” or “marriageable”. Quite often it is used for referring to young women.

To have a relationship with a younger person, for most men i think, is indeed tempting. It entices their perception about vitality and somewhat a sense of an achievement. Particularly when the young lady is relatively attractive. He would likely to feel proud and to feel elevated when people around him see that he is with this young and attractive lady.

In Indonesia, for single men to have a younger partner seem acceptable if not normal ( I guess this is also apply in other places ). In fact, older man dating younger woman seems the ideal form of marriage.

The most often reason I’ve heard supporting this ideal is because women are “aging” quickly than men (is it really?). According to this view, it appears that women are having their physical prime in their early twenties and loosing it rather quickly when they married and have children.

The idea of men to have daun muda seems also supported by women looking for a spouse. In fact, there is a tendency, which suggests that women seeking marriage should look for older men than herself. Again, this is derived from the idea of the “ideal” form of marriage (in term of age difference of course). Yet, men must be careful when addressing this issue with a woman.

Talking about daun muda for a spouse could result in her taking a defensive role. Especially when the woman has passed the “ideal” age for marriage. As far as I know, in Indonesia is about 20-27 years old.

To see whether she’s taking a defensive role, you can see from her attitude, such as acting as if she’s not interested, employing exit strategy from the topic, and perhaps being sarcastic. In this situation women apparently see daun muda as a competitor in one way or another. Eventhough she may or may not know the daun muda directly.

To be honest, I do sometimes tempted to have a daun muda in my life. I must agree that women in their early twenties are more appealing. I must admit that to have such girl would be a thing of pride and perhaps an achievement as well.

However, I do realize that this would be a never ending pursue. Wanted or not people are aging, and new younger, attractive women are discovered everyday. Following our desires to continue to have daun muda will certainly exhaust our resources (time, money, and heart).

So I guess the best way to be is to pursue your daun muda (providing you are willing to have one) and keep her. How? By loving and caring for her. When you’re single I think it’s ok and legitimate thing to do.

Once you have her, do cherish and appreciate her. If she can make you happy and she completes you, it’s just a waste of your life to pursue another.

How about me? Umm… looking at my situation, I think it won’t hurt for me to start looking for one

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