Recently, I’ve been hearing about what is true love. There is one notion that grabbed my attention from the talk about this topic: True love is the love that comes from the sacrifice that knows no boundaries.

Before I continue, I just wanted to make things clear that this posting is about human to human love. Thus, the concept of true love in this posting only talks about human relationship, men and women to be exact.

The article also does not discuss about changing physical appearances.

Moving on…

Love is a fascinating feeling, and to love someone would bring you joy, happiness and misery. Then, what is true love? I guess people start calling love, true love, is when they’re experiencing the joy, the excitement, and the willingness to do stuff (sacrifice) that supersede their own view of what is “normal”. Additionally, the notion of true love also comes with an additional idea that says “when you truly love someone, you accept them as they are.”

All those sound good, don’t they? It sounds sweet to the ears, it makes your heart full of smiles. It sounds wonderful and superficial…

and guess what? It is superficially wonderful.

After thinking it through, I think such concept of true love is indeed a superficial concept that emanates beautiful feelings.  The reality is, we can never truly love someone as they already are and we can never sacrifice that knows no boundaries.

We can never truly accept someone as they are per se. Because if we do, we practically closing the doors on improvements that can actually enhance our love.  If this concept is correct, I think our lives would be miserable.

If a woman believes in this concept, then she would continue to accept her crooked partner and her “struggle” would be considered as a sacrifice that knows no boundaries (to further confirm her “true love”). If a man believes in this concept, then he would continue spoiling his “hungry for shiny things” partner and his “struggle” would be considered as a sacrifice that knows no boundaries (to further confirm his “true love”).

or

If someone believes in this concept, then he/she would continue to accept being hurt by his/her partner because they think true love is  accepting who they are, including their partner’s crappy attitudes and they can’t ask for something different because it would violate the idea of no-boundaries sacrifice.

Therefore, in my opinion, the notion of True love is the love that comes from the sacrifice that knows no boundaries, plus the additional If you truly love me than you accept me as I am” is stupid, self centered, and manipulative.

Love is about a mutual relationship between two individuals. You give something and you take something. We juggle this mutual relationship to keep it in balance. Sometimes you give more and take less or sometimes you take more and give less. So the scale is always relatively on an equal setting.

I always believe that everything and anything in this world has its proportions and its limits.  This would also apply to love. There’s a proportion of how much we can give and of how much we can take and vice versa. Hence, there’s a proportion and a limit of how much we can accept a person as an individual and there’s also a proportion and a limit of how much we’re willing to sacrifice.

So what is true love then?

To me, true love is the love that knows its proportions and its limits, and this view would automatically discount the additional idea of If you truly love me then you accept me as I am.

With this concept we would know that we, as individuals, can only love a person by a certain level and can only sacrifice for that person also by a certain level. These levels differ from one person from another, but they certainly have the upper and the lower levels.

Furthermore, this concept also helps us to realize that our partner has the same condition that applies to him/her. Hence, this would motivate us to do our best not exceed the proportion (tolerance) and the limits that our partner has. Too much love is smothering, to little is not caring. Too much sacrifice is butt licking, too little sacrifice is abandoning. There’s no such thing as no boundaries.

When we know that love has its proportions and also know that love has its limits then we are opening our mind and expanding our horizon. We give ourselves room for improvements. We become creative in finding ways to make our partner happy. Being happy is being in a state where we’re not standing on the edge of our limits and our ability to tolerate. Either from giving or receiving love.

So I think if we believed that True love is the love that comes from the sacrifice that knows no boundaries as well as accepting someone as they already are, then we are truly living in a superficial world.

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